08 February 2010

usually i will be sitting on my bed, waiting for the clock to strike 12. then i'll pick up my phone, give u call, and wish u happy birthay. but not today, not anymore.
midnight is coming soon and if only u are still around, u'd turn 20 by then. sorry if all these while we nvr actually had a proper bday celebration for u, i hope God is throwing u a big fat super duper fun bday party up there and i hope ur having a blast celebrating ur bday. i miss you like always, and i love you. i hope u can hear me.
i know this wish is a few minutes earlier but hey, i always wanted to be the 1st one to wish u so, Happy Birthday Nut :)

miss you

what hurts is when ur mum knws ur missing somebody badly and ur crying and all she does is ignore.

that really hurts.

WHAT'S WITH PPL'S BOYFRIENDS NOWADAYS

Lucky Friday night

last night was a planned but unplanned night. get me? haha. i went clubbing at Pavillion with Genie, Joanne, Didit, Emma, Bebeth, Bebeth's cousin and his gang, Amey and Surfri last night. we did what we did, dance and dance and dance. i was so busy dancing but i suddenly had the urge to look up so i looked up, right at where the dj was. two of the club's managers were there too. to my horror, both of the managers were looking at our direction and one of the manager was pointing at us. like seriously pointing. i kind of panicked bcz i thought he wanted to kick us out, u knw, like, since we just went there to dance and not drink. hahaha. so i looked away and hoped that the manager will ignore me and look away too, but oh boy was i wrong. he kept pointing and pointing. again, i looked away. but suddenly, he shone the spotlight to us. and i panicked like shit, but still kept my cool. i moved away from the spotlight and tried my best avoiding it, but they kept shining it to our direction and my heart started pumping real hard. in my head, all i could think of was, i just got myself into real big deep shit.
the DJ was saying smth but i can't hear a thing bcz all i could hear was the music and the beating of my heart. because of my deafness and ignorance, a bartender had to approach me to tell me what the DJ said. he told me I WON. I WON.
rupa rupanya, there's a competition going on, a dance competition and the manager made me the winner! hahahaha. and as for the prize, i got a free drink! a tall flaming free drink. which i think cost alot, and i shall consider myself lucky bcz i drank it for free! i gulped it down in one go bcz everybody was cheering "ONE GO ONE GO!!" bcz if i did not drink it all in one go, i think i'd die of embarassment! the drink was okay, all warm and liquorish. and guess what? it tasted like colgate. seriously. even Genie said my breath smelled colgate-ish after drinking that.
and so we continued to dance. dance. dance.
unfortunately, there's no picture to show off :( but oh well, im just happy i won :D

new year's resolution part two

1. stop trying to solve unsolved puzzles. what's happened, happened.
2. don't get jealous over friends that have boyfriends.
3. stop thinking everyone should feel miserable when ur abt to feel miserable.
4. stop mopping, stop crying.
5. when ppl are in trouble, stop the flashbacks and live in the present. help them. ur problems don't exist anymore.
6. don't turn mute out of the blues.
7. block ur mind if flashbacks start. try blocking mind by counting sheeps. mohohoh
8. stop running in circles. get out of it.
9. MUST practice listening to slipped away by avril lavigne over and over again with guts. serious guts. and don't even think abt crying when the song starts playing.
10. get everything out of ur system. stop holding on to what's left, but move forward. get a grip on smth else. don't look back. drop the past. keep it in the heart, not mind.
11. move on.


depressed. depressed. this feels like a big step but there's not much to do, and i can't just keep thinking abt all the what if's if a friend comes up and talk to me abt their relationship problem bcz i need to rmbr the relationship that i still wish to keep don't exist anymore so i've got to stop trying to think abt the impossible, stop dreaming, slap my own face and wake up. this is good right? it should be good. this resolution should be good. and it should work. please work. i hope it works. i hope.

cute kan?

this is fabulous. i shall destroy more of ppl's image soon. be afraidd, BE VERY AFRAIDDDD. MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAASKJLAJAMOHOHOHOKAJHLAKJSDHAHAHAHHOPHOHOHAKJSHLAJ

In Loving Memory

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still




In loving memory of the two people that mean a lot to me, that have taught me many things in so many ways, that have inspired me, given me strength, loved me, that have been there for me

especially you,

♥David Tonnyson 08th February 1990 - 28th July 2009

and

Uncle Simon Sudin 15th June 1957 - 15th December 2009

i would like to thank all readers for reading my crappy blog. never knew that it is actually worth reading. some friends told me they read it from midnight to sunrise, some told me they're inspired, some told me they're touched and so far i haven't heard any of this, but maybe to some, my blog is crappy. however whatever it is, thank you so the very much for wasting ur time on reading my blog and i am happy to know that i've managed to touch a few souls :) and also, thank you to those that still read eventhough they find it crappy. haha.

thanks much you all :)

an idea of how my room looks like.

it rained every single day when i was in UiTM. the weather made sleeping so great, and waking up in the morning is such a drag. eventhough my dorm is quite far from everything ( classes, youthfloor, canteen, etc.. ) and eventhough i complain abt the great distance all the time, i actually love it once i embraced it! being a resident of Block 4B, what can i say, is just so marvellous! there's privacy, and u only have one roomate! u dont sleep on a double deck bed anymore and u dont have to share cupboards anymore, that's the beauty of it! :) everything is all urs! no more sharing. and one more thing, the toilet is super clean!! there's only one disadvantage of living in block 4, which is, u live near the jungle. the jungle itself is okay, but the insects? SO NOT OKAY. i have this thing abt insects, idk why but i just cnt learn to accept them for what they are and embrace them. they just make me go EE WAA OII AAAAA GOOO AWAY! the fact that they creep and crawl is just so freaky.

there was this one time when my roomate switched off the light, and we both buat hal masing2 atas tilam. i was tossing and turning and toss and turn some more till i finally felt sleepy, and i almost fell asleep! but unfortunately, as i was abt to shut my eyes close and layan tdo, an insect flew to my ear all of a sudden and remained there. it's sharp pointy legs and the buzzing sound it made woke me up and i was desperately slapping my ear with hopes that the insect go away but unfortunately it went a little bit deeper into my ear and then it found it's way out and flew away. what made it horrible was i really wanted to scream and shout bcz i freaked out but i had to control myself and remained silent bcz i was so afraid i was going to wake my roomie up, trust me, that was so torturing

-.- i'll never bond with insects. they're just unpredictable.

i think i had the best week in uitm. so far. played around too much, had so much fun and laughed till we all dont rmbr what time it is anymore, right yaya? hahaha. i love.